The TAGs 🏷️

The labels that are stuck to us since we were born. They are marks put on us by our parents, family, and society, and we end up considering them part of who we are. Throughout life, more tags “stick” to us in our day-to-day. NOTE, our people don’t mean harm, it’s normal and what “should” be done.

A few years ago I started thinking about those labels that have been stuck to our skin and soul for so many years and that we assume as normal… the manuals society imposes on us that we follow as rules:

Accept that!

Shut up!

It’s okay if you don’t want that, but it is what it is.

Never say no.

This is normal.

But that person already did that for you…

I am like this, and I’m not going to change.

Many times, these tags come in the form of prejudices of all kinds, and we wonder how to go against them. It’s not easy… it takes time to understand that life has no manual, that every day we are changing and evolving in our ideas, and that is profoundly liberating when we understand it.

A clear example is that there are people who passed through our lives and played their role at that moment. But as we change and they do too, many times those relationships no longer have anything to do with the life we have now. And saying goodbye is not wrong. I say this is a TAG because we are taught that it is normal to stay in places where we no longer fit, and that causes us anxiety… keeping up appearances is more important than being well!

It’s a complex and difficult topic, it hurts to understand and let go. The beautiful thing about life is always changing. Many people knew us in different stages of our existence, but we have seen the world and changed, while those people still hold onto the image of who we were before, and many times they don’t understand our changes because they cling to an old version of us. Ah, but the essence doesn’t change… Nowadays, I don’t agree with that phrase. I said it many times throughout my life, but I am sure we can change everything about ourselves, and that is wonderful.

Another phrase that is a very present TAG in our lives—I said it many times and sometimes still do: That person is a good person. What does it mean to be a good person? All of us are both good and bad. At every stage of life, we will hurt someone and also be hurt. Causing harm doesn’t automatically make us bad people. The truth is that in many situations, we make decisions with the tools we have at that moment and the mindset we have at that instant, and that is life too.

Drawing a parallel with my thoughts, Plato’s Cave and Kafka’s book The Metamorphosis help me understand what happens when we break free from labels. Breaking them is at the same time leaving Plato’s cave and living Kafka’s metamorphosis. Plato talks about people chained from birth, watching shadows they believe are real, and those shadows are very much like the TAGS society imposes on us—ideas we accept without questioning and confuse with our identity. Leaving the cave means beginning to doubt what is normal, looking beyond what we were taught, and understanding that life has no single manual. At first it hurts, the light confuses, everything seems different, and many times our surroundings don’t understand our change.

Kafka shows what happens after that awakening. In The Metamorphosis, Gregor Samsa stops fitting in when he no longer fulfills the role that defined him. His family and surroundings reject him because he no longer corresponds to the version they knew. That is exactly what happens when we start questioning our labels. We stop being the person everyone expects, and we become strangers.

Leaving the cave and going through our own metamorphosis hurts, yes, but it allows us to truly live. It gives us the opportunity to change, to let go of what no longer serves us, to redefine ourselves every day, and above all, to recognize ourselves beyond the expectations of others. Even if it is sometimes hard for people to understand us, CHANGING IS WONDERFUL, NECESSARY, AND LIBERATING.